Betrayed

The mind is a tricky thing. Sometimes you're so sure that you're in control of yourself, of your situation, and of your emotions, but really you're not, and the slightest thing trips you into a downward spiral.

I have never felt so upset at nothing, or what seems like nothing because I can't put a firm finger on it or analyse it to pieces.

I thought I'd got it out of my system, it's been too long, but then again maybe all that's happened has just kept the wound open - turned it into something else that slowly eats away at you without you realising it.

I think I'm more sad that I thought I had beaten the demons of that one long-ago relationship and all the ties that seem to make us cross paths - the people and the places, but I haven't. Everyone seems to know everyone else in this town. It still bugs me no matter how hard I've tried to let go of everything little thing that's even remotely associated. I don't hold a candle, I hold a dead rose.

It's been a while since I've felt so low, I just want to curl up and die, and there's nothing my angel can do to fix it.

On a roll

Practice today was so much fun! Even if I was largely winging it, I'm fairly confident it'll come together wonderfully - the other alto ladies are so damn geng. They could probably sing it backwards and still be on key.

The tenors are another story though. They start out in key but the second one screws up, that bad note quickly works it way down the line and soon everyone's singing to their own improvisation.

It's cute though, and like Joel said, they're going to be able to point out exactly which church messes up the song because the majority of tenors are from CBC. I'm sure they'll pull it off - with Weng nursing a sprained wrist, he has nothing else to do but work on his part for the next week, so no excuses there.

It's been such an awesome day! Tomorrow I'm playing driver to Cinderella and the crippled monkey.

To the one who always makes me laugh

We've been totally wrapped up in family life lately, much like the rest of our friends, playing the part of driver and older sibling, which left little time and energy for each other. So after the last few nights of listless conversation and not much time together, I just wanted to say I love you, darling, you make every moment.

Oh, and I have most definitely planned the next five years of your life. I'll send you the outline shortly. Hehe. +Mxx+