Like. Seriously. Back. Off.

It's frustratingly hard to communicate your exact feelings with words, but the advent of MSN forces us to practice this daily, so much so that we've skipped the words and are now fluent in the language of punctuation.

Boy: Are you okay?
Ger: I'm fine

Boy: Are you okay?
Ger: I'm fine...

Boy: Are you okay?
Ger: I'm fine.

Boy: Are you okay?
Ger: I'm. fine.

Sometimes we omit it completely, but a full-stop means so much more than an indication of the end of a sentence. Whether it is used in trios, singly, or at the end of every word, the simple full-stop has now become yet another subtlety in the language of mankind.

The translation is provided below.

Boy: Are you okay?
Ger: I'm fine
(I'm fine)

Boy: Are you okay?
Ger: I'm fine...
(I'm not so fine, but I'd like you to be there)

Boy: Are you okay?
Ger: I'm fine.
(I'm fine dammit, stop asking me if I'm FINE. I'M FINE. why would I not be fine! I'm totally fine!! GAAARRRGHHH!!! i.e. not fine and Boy should probably run like hell in the other direction.)

Boy: Are you okay?
Ger: I'm. fine.
(Go die you stupid, stupid Boy.)

The comma has still retained its designed use but whether people actually know how to use it still remains to be seen. More exciting punctuation are the question and exclamation mark.

Ger: What was that?
(Control sample)

Ger: What was that??
(I myself am not clear on the use of the double question mark, but I believe it conveys either the quizzicality or excitement of the questioner.)

Ger: What was that?!
(I use this one myself and it's usually when someone's told me something and I'm like wtf, or I've just been insulted and the Boy answering that better tread carefully.)


And then there's the exclamation mark. People who use this should be shot, especially when the reader has a bad headache or is hungover. In general the exclamation mark seems to replace every other known form of punctuation.

Boy: Hi! How are you! Totally! Yeah! Wasn't that awesome!!

I personally hate reading conversations like this. In fact, I would say that the proportion of exclamation marks to my irritability is an exponential function of sorts.

Using punctuation to express yourself is an intricate dance. Wrap sarcasm into that and it's a trainwreck, especially when the Boy you're being sarcastic at doesn't get it. I think that's about it. No one's figured out how to speak the language of the semi-colon or where you're supposed to even use it, and no one will ever teach you this in grammar class.