BA versus MAS

BA economy seats are squishy and small, which doesn't make sense because British people are large. (-1)
BA air stewards don't bring you water at all during the flight unless you ding them (-3)
BA business class is basically economy seat + footstool, and the privacy screens make the entire set up look like coffins (-10). MAS business class makes you feel like a king! (+10)
BA might lose your bag (-5)
BA smells like MAS, that nauseating lemon spray laced with several thousand types of body odor. It hits you like a wall in the boarding tunnel. (-10)
BA screens are touch screens, which are genius - how many times have you got out of a MAS seat only to be very nearly castrated by the remote control wire wrapping itself around everything and then trying to shoot itself very viciously back into its hole (+5)
BA food trays are so messy. I don't know which one's my salad or whether it's actually the dessert, especially when the loser in front of you has not put the seat in the upright position when everyone is eating whatyouthinkyouowntheworldah?! (-1billion)

BA (-1billion and 4) on my highly accurate marking scheme, MAS (0).

No wonder MAS and SIA have like the best cabin staff in the world (and they don't lose your bags) - they aren't up against all that much.

The traumatic 10hr45mn flight to Jo'burg left me so tired, I watched my bag go around the carousel THREE times.