Isn't it great

Picadilly Circus at 7.30 in the morning is God photoshopping out all of the crowds that jostle for space and laying a thick blanket over the steady stream of traffic flows weaves through the warren of streets leading away.

Picadilly Circus at 7.30 in the morning tastes like the whipped cream on top of a peppermint mocha bought on a whim and implied need from one of the strategically placed Starbucks that litter the area.

Picadilly Circust at 7.30 in the morning might just about bump Hyde Park in spring time from the top of the list of my most favorite places in London, nevermind that it was also the site of a complete massacre of self esteem brought on by one question booklet, a twisty pencil, and some bits of paper.

Just add genius

I have to write a story. Not now, so don't worry, it won't be as long as the last post.

Keep it short, he says. One or two main characters revolving around a single issue, he says. It has to be dynamic, he says. And write about things you know, he says.

I could write about things I know, I reply, but it would be a story about impending deadlines of doom, why I want to work in the finance sector, and why I want to work for yet another bank that isn't really very much different from the last, which would make for a very boring story actually.

So I appeal to you. Inspire me.

Like. Seriously. Back. Off.

It's frustratingly hard to communicate your exact feelings with words, but the advent of MSN forces us to practice this daily, so much so that we've skipped the words and are now fluent in the language of punctuation.

Boy: Are you okay?
Ger: I'm fine

Boy: Are you okay?
Ger: I'm fine...

Boy: Are you okay?
Ger: I'm fine.

Boy: Are you okay?
Ger: I'm. fine.

Sometimes we omit it completely, but a full-stop means so much more than an indication of the end of a sentence. Whether it is used in trios, singly, or at the end of every word, the simple full-stop has now become yet another subtlety in the language of mankind.

The translation is provided below.

Boy: Are you okay?
Ger: I'm fine
(I'm fine)

Boy: Are you okay?
Ger: I'm fine...
(I'm not so fine, but I'd like you to be there)

Boy: Are you okay?
Ger: I'm fine.
(I'm fine dammit, stop asking me if I'm FINE. I'M FINE. why would I not be fine! I'm totally fine!! GAAARRRGHHH!!! i.e. not fine and Boy should probably run like hell in the other direction.)

Boy: Are you okay?
Ger: I'm. fine.
(Go die you stupid, stupid Boy.)

The comma has still retained its designed use but whether people actually know how to use it still remains to be seen. More exciting punctuation are the question and exclamation mark.

Ger: What was that?
(Control sample)

Ger: What was that??
(I myself am not clear on the use of the double question mark, but I believe it conveys either the quizzicality or excitement of the questioner.)

Ger: What was that?!
(I use this one myself and it's usually when someone's told me something and I'm like wtf, or I've just been insulted and the Boy answering that better tread carefully.)


And then there's the exclamation mark. People who use this should be shot, especially when the reader has a bad headache or is hungover. In general the exclamation mark seems to replace every other known form of punctuation.

Boy: Hi! How are you! Totally! Yeah! Wasn't that awesome!!

I personally hate reading conversations like this. In fact, I would say that the proportion of exclamation marks to my irritability is an exponential function of sorts.

Using punctuation to express yourself is an intricate dance. Wrap sarcasm into that and it's a trainwreck, especially when the Boy you're being sarcastic at doesn't get it. I think that's about it. No one's figured out how to speak the language of the semi-colon or where you're supposed to even use it, and no one will ever teach you this in grammar class.