I love my dog but

I scratched the other car today. I'm really on a roll.

Or maybe I'm just tired, or the haze is really getting to me.

My dog likes to live on the edge I've realised. That's why she uses all those naps to recharge her adrenaline stores. Today she decided to pick on an Alsatian. I was walking her on one side of the road and the Alsatian was happily minding its own business on the other side. Perdy suddenly started to act all perky and friendly and made a mad dash to the other side to check out this dog.

My dog is not, in actual fact, friendly at all. She's a sly, antisocial furball that thinks she's human and that all other dogs irritate her. So after she'd fooled this Alsatian into thinking that she wanted to play, the Alsatian (called Venus) trotted over to say hello. Perdy then turned on her with a vicious snap and plenty of annoyed yelping while at the same time drawing Venus into the middle of the road.

Several cars had to stop while we tried to help 50kg of horribly confused and betrayed dog off the yellow dotted line and at the same time shut up my armful of yapping fury. I was mortified.

Did she not see that the Alsatian was three times her size and could've easily bit her head right off? She barely made it to the dog's elbow. What a nutter. And when I was scolding her, she had the gall to look at me in puzzlement.