Resisting change

Every summer has a theme. This one seems to be leaning towards desperately quiet. I miss the ones that had 'friendship' written all over them.

Two years in uni and more has changed than we realise. Like Tish said, I guess now's the time you find out who your real friends are. Everytime I turn around and realise I've grown apart from someone who was there through secondary school promising friends forever, whether through my own fault or not, it hurts.

I'd like to act spoilt for a bit and demand in general that groups of friends can't disband. That we can hang out with other people and stuff, but that we stay loyal and true to the ones who've seen it all. Don't they know how much it sucks when so much as one old face is missing? How selfish people can be. I just want to keep them all together in bubble wrap and sellotape, jealously guarding something that has brought so much joy into my life against outsiders who have no right to be there because they just don't know.

And I miss them so much. I miss being able to relax in their company, not to have to put my guard up all the time and watch what I say. I miss feeling like every piece of the puzzle's in place and I miss living in the moment surrounded by peals of laughter.

It feels like such a big part of life is broken, and I don't know how to fix it.