It's all in the voice

I had a wonderfully enlightening conversation today with a counsellor (I shan't say whom) at a fitness club (I won't say where). It goes to show how persuasive my mum can be. She can twist anyone's arm from anywhere on the phone, except maybe my brother who seems strangely immune.

C: So Miss Ashley, I understand you and your sister are interested in signing up?
A: Yes, but we were sorting out a deal that involves suspending the payments or termination for the months I'm away.
C: Um, I'm afraid we don't do that miss.
A: Really? But we were told that something along those lines could be done.
C: Sorry miss, but we cannot suspend or terminate memberships.
A: Hold on, let me call my mum.

So the phone got passed over

C: Oh, like that. Okay Miss Nancy. Right, it seems we can work something out. Here's my offer, you sign on at the reduced rate, and while you're away you can let your father use your membership - just give me a call when you're about to leave so I can inform the front desk okay?
A: Oh okay.
C: Right, so you'll have to sign on for two years, you and your sister.
A: But my sister will also be leaving for uni next year, we can't sign on two years.
C: But if you want the reduced rate, you must sign for two years.
A: Wait, let me call my mum.

So the phone got passed over again.

C: Um, okay, look, since your case is special, I'll give you one year okay?
A: And for my sister too?
C: Yes, for your sister as well.
A: Okay, so we'll sign on today then.
C: Um, were you briefed on the signing on fees?
A: We were told there weren't any signing on fees.
C: Uh, no, you see, it's 90 for processing, and 90 to sign on, so that's 180 per person plus 5% tax and two months up front.
A: Hold on, I'll let my mum know.

So the phone got passed over for one last time.

C: Uh, okay, since both of you guys are all signing up under your mum I'll waive the signing on fee, but you still need to pay the processing fee.
A: Okay.

Then there were several contractual-looking documents that involved a suspicious amount of signing, and finally a blank list was produced.
C: Okay, to qualify for the reduced rate, you need to give us 15 of your friends' names.
A: Oh.

On the first try, I scraped up eight.
C: No, I'm sorry, you need fifteen to qualify.

After running through my phone book twice, I only came up with thirteen K.L numbers and that was seriously stretching it.
C: Oh, look, nevermind, those will do. Thank you.

So I'm sorry if you get a random phone call. Clearly my mother is much better at this than I am.