Thursday, August 19, 2004

"Bleat bleat"

I wonder if the animals in the zoo tire of all the people pointing and waving and gawking at them. The walls of my 2 by 2 habitat aren't high enough and I'm not stuck in some obscure back corner of the zoo, I mean office, but right in front: Exhibit A. It sucks. Try as I may, no matter how low I slouch in my chair or slink behind my computer screen, it always feels like someone's looking over my shoulder or over the wall as they walk past. And it's only 8.30.

But the day is full of people who'll flick their eyes towards you in irritation, like when you head for the cafeteria early, or you go to the bathroom too many times, or if they catch you reading... The simplest of responses like that leaves you properly chastened and embarrassed. I wonder why we're so conscious of what everyone else thinks or does; and no matter how many times you could try to deny it, there's always a tiny part inside screaming for acceptance.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Ash
I understand how you feel. I constantly strive to fit in amongst my peers and my family. My parents are not the problem, but more my siblings. I think your experience tallies with mine perfectly. I have an elder sister and a younger brother. They do not match up to my beauty or my intelligence. When I speak they do not understand me and instead grunt and snort to each other trying to communicate. I lead a double life. One as a mere mortal and the other in fame and fortune. When I am home and not enjoying my fame and fortune, they goggle at me as if I am a martian. I may be to them but if one were to cut me up would I not bleed? Perhaps they look at the moon-shaped scar on my forehead; a souvenir from a dangerous encounter which nearly claimed my life. Like you, I feel as if people are constantly judging me. It is not a feeling I enjoy. I can hardly wait until I return back to my second life of fame and fortune, where everyone understands me and loves me. I guess you'd find it hard to believe but I am actually still a student. I am attending a secret school for people like me. It is called Foglarts and it is no place for puggles like you. I hope your experience picks up.

Anonymous said...

THIS IS UR MOther. stop wasting ur time doing all these stupid online things. me n dad miss u. we love u.

Ash said...

nice one cheryl. VERY FUNNY. i'm gonna come home and sit on you.