Are you fat?

My mum called over the weekend - she rarely calls now that she has a new toy to play with, but the line of the conversation rarely changes.

Mum: How are you?
Me: I'm okay.
Mum: How's your weight?
Me: What do you mean "how's my weight"?
Mum: Are you fat?
Me: No I'm not fat!
Mum: How much do you weigh?
Me: I don't know, we don't have a weighing scale.
Mum: Are you fat?
Me: No Mum!

As you can probably tell the rest of the phone call was riddled with weight issues. What am I supposed to say to that? "No I'm not" just gets more "Are you sure you're not fat?", and "Yes" just gets a whole tirade of why aren't I exercising or why am I eating so much...

Then Weng gets the follow-through of our conversation in the form of a very worried "Weng, am I fat?" and I get an obliging "No, you're not".

And that's the way the cookie crumbles.