I'm an emotional mess. The stress is right up there and I've been on the verge of tears all morning. The Math Paper looms like an iceberg in the mists. That 1/9th you see rising out of the even bleaker water about matches my confidence level in this subject.
So I ranted at Cheryl who wanted to talk about learning French and American Idol and called me weird before running off to watch her X-men cartoon. Mum got wind of my anxiety and called to pile on more pressure.
"You're not confident? You don't know how to do it?! What have you been learning all year then?!" she asked rhetorically, which was strangely what I needed.
It's almost routine, come exams, she'll ask completely irrelevant questions. She's been doing it to me my whole life so maybe I needed the sense of normalcy (which is purely relative) to shore up my extremely fragile psyche. Then she laughed, I laughed nervously and things were okay for a bit. Hung up, and I was still on the verge of tears but only because of homesickness. I'm a wreck and I have a craving for deep fried wan tan.
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